I have the odd feeling that I may never be truly happy with a blog title. I did not like the one I had before, so I changed it. I’m not entirely sure I like this one either, but at least it’s not what it was. So I will probably change again when another title comes to mind that is hopefully a bit better, and the cycle will continue until I finally find the right one. So it goes…
I’m in a good mood today. This confuses me. Today is Monday, I had an early morning after a late night, I worked, my back is yelling at me, and yet, I can’t help but be in a good mood.
I’m certainly not complaining. I love it. I love being happy. That’s kinda a silly thing to say…I mean, who doesn’t like being happy? Even the Grinch discovered he enjoyed happiness. Same with Scrooge.
Anyway, I certainly am what you call an optimist. If there’s only a drop of liquid in a glass, I’ll tend to call it half full. That’s just who I am. I used to love the fact that I’m an optimistic fella’. But then I realized, hey, it’s not always good or appropriate to search for the good in everything. There are moments in life when you must focus on the bad and allow the weight of this world to rest upon your chest. For too long I have recognized pain and hurt and hardship without allowing myself to feel all the weight of those things. But then I met a certain someone who has changed my life in so many beautiful ways I would get in trouble if I started listing them off here. I will try to refrain from being cheesy (to the best of my ability), but since I met the love of my life, I have began a slow process of appropriating my emotions. I have experienced much joy in the past 20 months and 20 days. So much so, that many things I used to be optimistic about now seem lame compared to the true happiness I now experience. Being in relationship has also taught me the extreme importance of being happy when it is right to be happy, and being sad when it’s okay to be sad. I am in the process of shifting from a place of constant optimism to a place of realistic hope. I am hopeful for many things. I strive to live joyously through all I do. But if I am going to be the best person I can be, I need to allow myself to feel the proper types of emotions at the appropriate times.
Jesus, after all, was not a blind optimist looking only at the good. The Bible actually tells us quite differently. Jesus felt the pain of everyone around him. He cried, he yelled, he hurt, he bled, and he died with and for us. We must remember these things. I must remember these things. Yes, he also laughed, smiled, felt joy, and was raised from the dead as well, which gives us hope. I want to overcome my optimism. I want to be hopeful. I want my hope to rest in Jesus’ hands daily.
So here I am, on a journey, as we all are, in search of a proper balance in my life. I must say though, life is so good. It is really good right now, so I will enjoy it, and be glad. Life is good. 🙂
*edit* apparently I already wrote a similar post on this topic a while back. I am aware of this, but oh well! I guess it’s been on my mind for a time. Toodles! 🙂